'Tis the Season to be.... Thankful!

 I tend to get wrapped up in my daily life, overlooking most of the blessings that have been directly in front of me that I sometimes.. well, a lot of the times miss. I can be very self-absorbed, and selfish and bitch and moan about the most obnoxious things you've ever heard.  Thank you to my internship, and important people in my life, I have been enlightened about being grateful for even my challenging experiences, because they are an invaluable teaching tool.  So, Thanksgiving is tomorrow and in addition to me focusing on stuffing my face and shooting da tirty point buck... I'll also be reflecting on giving thanks to the many blessings that have come my way over the past year. 

5.) My Job(s).
I have been so blessed over the past couple years, working for some preeeeeeeeeetty amazing people.  I am so blessed and thankful to have a job because a lot of people are still without.  Not only that, but my bosses and co-workers are so supportive of me trying to juggle grad school, work, and everyday life that it truly is a blessing.  Even though I tend to bitch and moan about it, I am thankful that I have it. 

4.)  Friends.
They say friends come and go like seasons, however... I am grateful for every friend I've ever had in my life because good or bad, I've learned something from them.  Friends come and go, but the memories stay forever. 

3.) Family.
Although we all tend to not see eye-to-eye and sometimes even look right past each other, I don't know what I would do with out them.  If there is one major thing I've learned about working with kids, it's that to NEVER EVER take your family for granted.  I am lucky to have them.  There is something about family that is very comforting and warm, maybe it's the unconditional love we have that bonds us through our blood.  Even if we aren't blood, or full blood, or whatever, I would give my kidney for them... or an arm!  Or maybe I take comfort in the fact that I know where my bat-shit-crazy attitude comes from.  :)

2.)  My Dad.
I truly don't know what I would do without him.  There are not enough words in the English language for me to express how thankful I am for having the best supporter there is, and that's my dad.  He's been there for me through the hardest times in my life, and he has always been the best support a kid could have.  I don't know if I would be the person I am today without having my dad in my life.  I am thankful for my dad for providing for me, allowing me to have everything to live in a safe, and secure environment and being cared for.  He provided me and my siblings with the physical means of a family, and a never-ending supply of love. I appreciate every moment I spend with him and always will. I love you, Dad!

1.) Life, Health & Strength.
I am lucky to only have the minor little bumps in my road thus far in my 23 years of living.  My strength has got me to where I am today.  Life, well...there really isn't much that needs to be said other than I love it and I wouldn't trade mine in for nothin'!


'Tis the season folks.. to remind ourselves to be thankful for what we have and who we have in our lives.  Remember not everyone gets to enjoy things like some of us do, so go out and do something good for your community, donate a turkey...or send a prayer.  :)

  "Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you."
--Princess Diana

Selfless VS Selfish

Selfless Love VS Selfish Love.

It’s been a busy couple of days and I’ve been contemplating what my next blog will portray about my life.  Since I do an awful lot of driving.. it almost comes hand in hand with an awful lot of thinking. I found myself thinking about the kids I work with (typical...) and how I wish that I could just snap my fingers and they would be able to live a “normal” life.  But, it’s not that easy... and if it was that easy, I wouldn’t have a J-O-B. However, another thing that I am learning from these kids is love, and how they really don’t understand the true meaning. Now don’t get me wrong, not that they don’t understand what love is.. but most of these kids were never taught what “Love” is, otherwise they wouldn’t be where they are now. Then of course, I started pondering about myself and wondering about my own love, and if I really know what it truly means to me anymore.  

I don’t like being selfish-- not with people I know, people I work with, people I “love”, and not with strangers. I may feel good in the moment when I look out for myself, but I have a terrible guilty conscious when I ignore someone else’s needs and favors for my own.  I really think the world is more of an enjoyable place when I treat people with consideration.  I tend to like myself better when I fight my instinct to fight (here is where my patience should set it!).  I realize that I AM a better person when I challenge my urge for instant gratification, but sometimes it’s too damn hard to just be selfless.  Especially now.  

Being selfless has been tough for me lately because I think I get too caught up in my own stress and problems.  I find myself loosing my patience (which I’m working on/blogging about...) with the people around me and the people I love the most because I get too caught up in my “other world”--which consists of school & internship.  Lately, I have this constant feeling that my needs are imperative and I’m having a hard time getting them off my mind long enough to consider what other people want. I think it’s in human nature to do what we think will make us happy. I fixate myself on little goals like rushing everywhere (even if it means cutting someone off), and not taking my time on homework.  Oops.  

Here are some things that I would like to challenge my selfish instincts:

1.) I have to ask myself: “What would the person I want to be, do?” 

Well, I remind myself that I want to be a good person and that I’m working my way to being a good therapist, which I would consider being a selfless job.  

2.) I think about what’s going on with the people around me.  

What do I mean by this?  I mean triggers and the whole “I’m gonna get them back” attitude.  What if there is something seriously wrong with the person in front of me, behind me ect... did they have a bad day?  Do they have cancer?  Is that why they are acting like this?  If I empathized about how they felt, I think I’d be less likely to be demanding about my own way. 

3.) What will the “future me” think?

Will I be able to look back and think of myself as a good person, or a cold hearted bitch?   I want to be proud of who I am and who I was and I don’t want to look back and dwell about the mistakes I made when I couldn’t fight my selfish instinct. Dwelling on the past is already a huge issue of mine and I want to try and better myself, well...for the better.  

4.) I want to renew someone’s faith in people. 

There are a lot of people and a lot of kids in this world who think that no one cares about anyone but themselves.  It’s a really sad thing, and it really saddens me that people have been so hurt that they’ve written everyone else off.  I’d like to make a person question whether it’s possible for people to redeem themselves by showing more consideration. 

          I believe that everyone cares, even if it is just a little bit and some people think that’s naive.  I would like to try my best to prove people wrong by caring and showing it, even if it is hard.  

Well, cheers to having a little more selfless and a little less selfish life!