Traveling Alone? Don't mind if I do!

I don't know what it is about me that makes me so comfortable being by myself.  Maybe it's my Independence?  Maybe I just like experiencing things by myself.   Over the past couple years, I've been adventurous and curious about different states, the world... culture in general.  I am always wanting to throw a dart at a map and just go, but there is always trouble finding someone who is as willing as I, to travel... and experience what I want to experience.  So, last summer I just decided to pack up my things and go to Colorado.  Granted, I have family there... but that's a long journey for a girl by herself.  However, it was one of the best journey experiences I've had.  Traveling solo is the ultimate freedom. The itinerary you set and all the decisions you make are your creations without concern or acquiescence to any other person or group. In other words.. No compromises. No arguments, and my personal favorite...NO second-guessing.



Traveling by myself is the ultimate confidence builder as well, and that's exactly what I need right now.  I am a confident and impulsive person... but sometimes when things bring you down, it's hard to focus on anything else.  Last summer, being a couple hundred miles away from home and hardly feeling lonely, I was never scared, and never unsure of anything.  In retrospect, I realize the great value of that small journey for a new found confidence was born in me. You learn you can solve problems, get over the blues, and find hidden treasures all by yourself.  I'm in the works of planning a trip out west again however this time around I'll be making a lot of stops and just spending time with myself... and frankly,  There’s nothing nicer than returning from a solo trip and facing the people who said you’d never be able to pull it off.  The most important factor to me while planning a trip alone is my own sense of independence.



Thomas Jefferson once said: "One travels more usefully when alone because he reflects more." It's true: you have abundant time for contemplating, even vegetating, or anything you want. A day long visit to one museum? No problem. A long hike on a trail fraught with danger? Not an issue. You don't have to deal with someone else's mood swings, ---nor they with yours.

My blog is screaming at me for an update...

Here I go again, boycotting my blog... again.  I don't know whether it's the fact that I have slim to no time, or that I'm avoiding my blog because of everything that's going on in my life right now.  I think part of my problem is that when I write something down, it's like a reality check.  It's real.  Frankly, I don't like some of the things going on in my life right now, therefore I don't like to think of it being "real"... even though it is real.  Ugh.

So here's what I've been  up to....(besides procrastinating my 15 page paper due soon...)

I'm still having certain situations with coworkers, but when this girl lays down the law.... it's not about play time anymore.  I don't want to go down that road right now, because work is going good... and of course I don't want to jinx myself.

I'm still a vegetarian.  So many people had doubts that I wouldn't last this long but... TA DA!  I still am.  And I enjoy it.  Although I haven't been a vegetarian very long, I've probably answered the question "why are you a vegetarian?" about 25 million times.  I am constantly finding myself explaining and justifying my reasons for choosing to be a vegetarian.  However, I do still eat fish.  Some people think that's a cheat, I think of it as.. baby steps.  It's hard for a person who has grown up in America, the meat-eating country.  I do intend to eventually go vegan, but for now it's one step at a time.  Besides, I really do care about the environment and the world, and big meat companies are TERRIBLE for the environment.  Also, I believe in nonviolence.  And slaughter isn't.  I do still hunt, of course.  I'm sure you are all wondering about that and how I can still hunt and be a vegetarian.  In this part of the country, hunting is needed, if we don't have hunters we have over population.  That means animals being killed on the roads, and screwing up the whole chain of life.  I know that I am doing good when I am taking part in controlling the population.  I believe in profit and giving, and that's where my meat goes.  There are many more families that need that meat, so I will donate it to those in need.

I am now alcohol free.  Yup, this party girl has decided to make another big life change.  Don't read this the wrong way, I do not have an addiction.. but rather a problem starting and I don't like the road it's taking me down.  I have had a couple eye opening experiences lately (no problems with the law, thank you buddha!) but enough to make me recognize my life style.  I was sober once upon a time, for a long time and I had no problems having fun and being just as silly as I am while intoxicated.  This is where I thank my parents (and buddha of course) for the free spirit they have given me.  I am happy, and healthy, and most of all... safe.  I will just pray for the strength and do as best as I can.

I think I'm reopening the doors to "love".  I have always been a loving person, but I mean more... well, romantically? I don't know that I can confidently say that I am... However, I wonder: how does one know when they are ready to love again?  Do you just wake up one morning and say "Today.  Today I am ready to love again." Or do you have a checklist of things you must complete before you are ready to love?  Well I find myself day dreaming a lot more (about love... corny I know), and being more open with men.  Whereas before, I would lock up and the minute I developed feelings... I stuck that awesome thumb of mine out and hitch hiked away with a cloud of dust behind me.  Maybe that's a sign? Maybe it isn't?   For being a pretty "fearless person"-one thing I've been scared of is... well, love.  I am aware that every relationship is different than the last, but it's so disheartening to see so many fall apart.  It doesn't help that I came from a divorced household and that fear (the fear of failing at relationships) is always haunting me.  But... back to my point, am I just being curious or am I ready?  To be continued on this thought....

Last, I have had the best time being a "Therapist" lately.  I love love love my job and I love love love the kids I work with.  I may say that it's a headache or that I feel myself loosing patience some days.... but I have never learned so much from kids...rewarding does not even justify.  I am reminded every day that I am making a difference in someone's life- and to work with and see these kids and adolescents express themselves and their fears.... there are simply no words.  Well, maybe hallelujah.  :)

The Art Therapy room... Drawn by me, painted by the kids.  :)  PROUD.