Friday, July 8, 2011

L.O.V.E Language of Various Emotions.

              The other day I was bartending my little booty off and after a long 15 hour day I was ready to go home. I started to close up the bar and noticed a couple about my parents age walking in... (or stumbling would be a better way to put it). I growled to myself, rolled my eyes and was tempted to tell them "Sorry we're closed" just as they were walking in.... good customer service right?? Well, when they walked in the door and just as those words were about to roll off my tongue, my inner spirits told me no. I instantly felt this overwhelming feeling when I watched them sit at the bar and my bad energy had left my body. I served them their bud lights and shots of tequila and just watched them. Sounds creepy... but I was infatuated with how this couple used their nonverbal language to express their compassion towards each other. After watching them like a stalker person..  I asked them how long they  have been together and the woman said with a drunken stumbled voice "33 amazing years and I wouldn't be alive without him today."  I must of given them a distraught look of some kind because he looked at me and said "this is my baby's day out, she was just cleared of stage 4 breast cancer" and a tear rolled down his cheek.  I instantly felt a lump growing in my throat. The lady then proceeded to tell me about her treatment and how hard it was and that she couldn't thank her husband enough because he was there for it all.  Holding her hand through chemo and every appointment along the way.  I was in awe over them and their amazing story.  I have never in my (almost) 24 years of life, witnessed a love like this... where the energy completely fills the room and everyone in it.  There were tears of joy and happiness between them that just instantly made me so incredibly happy.  I believe that God, (or whatever you believe in) was not ready to take her because their love was so strong and compassionate that they need to be the proof to people that "true love" still does exist.  The population of people today is so confused as to what love is, that so many of us take it for granted.. or look for it in all the wrong places.  I'm no expert on love, but I am learning and I am willing to learn and give it a chance. 

         Recently, there have been (oddly enough) some bizarre love triangles in my life, that involve myself as a person... but not myself (as in my own heart... well, I am involved with someone and VERY happy about it... but he is not part of the situation I'm referring to).  After meeting the couple, I started to play some of these situations out in my head.  It seems like so many people (people I know) are just so desperate for a love like this that they look for love in all the wrong places and wrong reasons... or they stay with someone because they think they are "happy" or they feel like they "have to" and are just plain scared of being alone.  So, I started to brainstorm... because I do need to vent a little... and this is my reasoning why people end up in unhappy relationships:

             1.)  "I don't want to have to start over again"  -- to me this spells out "Lazy".  Granted, there can indeed be some insecurity issues here, but really... it's all about laziness.  Even if the relationship falls short of expectations, it's often just way too comfortable, and harder to leave.  Truth be told, staying in stale and faded relationships can literally turn into being a matter of continuing to wake up doing the exact same thing that went on yesterday, and fighting about the exact same thing you fought about last week rather than taking action.... that right there, is true procrastination.  Ask yourself, do you want to be happy?
              2.) You like what they "Represent".  -- this right here folks, is one of the most common aspects of a failed relationship.  I have seen this happen to so many people, so many close friends.  If you are having a hard time finding your perfect "type" of person... you may not know yourself.  One of the best ways to start improving your life and any situation you’re in – whether it’s a relationship with a man/woman or any other potentially great and important situation – is to find amazing resources and information that will help you quickly GROW and LEARN.  After getting to know yourself, you will be more aware as to what kind of person you could see yourself with and not what they represent.  Take a mini vacation to yourself, give your heart a break and let your spirit lead the way. 
              3.)  Filling the "emptiness"-- If you are staying in a relationship or looking for a relationship to ease the emptiness inside you, the harsh reality is that no relationship is ever going to completely fill you up.  Once the easy emotional connection and satisfaction of honeymoon love wears off, you could find that you're not filled up after everything you've been through and soon your partner won't be good enough for you or possibly feel good enough.  This void or empty spot is the very thing that makes you so vulnerable to the wrong relationships in the first place.  It will lead you to get involved not because a man/woman or relationship is right for you, but because you are driven to fill the "emptiness".  Patience truly is a virtue, and if you wait... good things will come. 
           There's probably 600 more reasons I could come up with but for now these are the ones that stick out in my head the most.  If you are in a relationship, or looking for the perfect relationship... or want the compassionate love like the couple I referred to, take a step out of your box.... it may be hard, but it's not the end of the world and if you stay positive... you will find happiness. 
Ta ta for now. 

1 comment:

  1. It's so funny when people date people or even marry for the wrong reasons! For example, marrying/being with someone just because it seems like the most logical "next step" will end up in failure of a relationship. Marrying/being with someone involves YEARNING to be with them FOR-E-VER. There are tons of reasons why almost 1:2 marriages end in divorce and I believe that is one of the major reasons.

    But it seems like the couple you talked to while bartending yearns to be together forever, rare people like this have alot of lessons to teach all of us!!