First, I've been looking for a new car. I have a nice little 2007 chevy cobalt, but I always get stuck...stuck in my own driveway, stuck in the damn ditch... stuck. So... I decided I wanted an all wheel drive, 4 wheel drive, something of that matter. Well, I had a couple eye opening experiences lately and I decided, I'm ok with my little cobalt. I can survive with it. I may live in weather conditions that are awful for my car, but at least I have a car. I should be fortunate for that right? I decided to suck it up and stick with my little white box of slip and slide and just be happy. Which I am. I'm realizing that I don't need bigger and better things in life to make me happy..or to survive. I should just be happy with the simplistic things. I have much more than most people in this world, so cheers to being fortunate and grateful.
I've been trying to figure out what I want to do after I graduate in May 2012. Why am I trying to figure this out now? Because... I don't want to graduate and say "well, I'm done... now what?". I've always been the kind of person to be on top of things (for the most part), I have a whole lot of dreams that I want to accomplish, I'm trying to be as organized as I can. I applied for the Peace Corp... (I guess I should say am applying) because the application process is so darn looooooong. I originally wanted to look more into the Navy due to my interest in travel and my family history in the military. But, the kind of person I am.. doesn't really mesh well with demands and order. I want to be who I am and do what I want to do rather than doing what others would like me to do. I'm a free spirit... Some don't like that, or agree with it, but that's what makes me...well, me. Make sense? My other option: I applied to an Internship working with kids who have been affected by HIV/AIDS in Cape Town, South Africa. Why would I do such a thing? Well, because. Because there is nothing in the world that compares to the feeling of helping, impacting and just simply being there for children in need. Will I get paid for this internship? Absolutely, positively... no. My loans will get deferred yet again. Which is ok. Most people in this position would say "absolutely not". I don't know that I'm too worried about making money, I'm more worried about my own happiness and you can guess where that is. My heart went on an adventure a long time ago, and that's where it stayed. Money isn't always happiness right?
With everything going on in my life right now, I decided to (kinda) try a date thing. Well, to my knowledge I found out I absolutely do not care to date and here is my reasoning... I recently went out with a friend (or whatever) for a kind of date thing... and the entire time all I could think about was what excuse I was going to use to get out of the next one. Honestly, I do this EVERY TIME I try to date someone, or see someone or even like someone. I always talk myself out of relationships and I pick the other person apart for their bad habits and whatnot. I don't know if it's my own fears of commitment or if it's just because I'm being selfish and can't find anyone to meet my standards... whatever they are, I have yet to find out myself. It's probably an awful quality of mine. Then I think about my priorities and what my life really consists of: I think about the kids I work with, school, my job.. my future... that leaves no room for a romance. Sometimes I get lonely yes, but when that happens a little bird always reminds me about all the fantastic things going on in my life and how I shouldn't be bummed because I have no one. Reality is, I have people. I have all kinds of wonderful, magnificent people in my life that make me more than happy. I'm only 23. Who cares about romance. Not I.
Well, this is my life in a nutshell right now. Still making way and trying to accomplish too many dreams at once, but I like it that way. And I'm Happy.
OH, and how could I forget.... GO PACK GOOOOO! :)
A little inspiration from my friend Gandhi. Drawing done by myself.