Monday, May 16, 2011
Time seems to fly by so fast lately, it seems like my family just got done pushing all the kids through high school, and now the rotation of pushing is through college. Over this past weekend, a celebration was being thrown for my sister, Michelle, who has completed her college career at UW River Falls. She has come so far in her life, and I envy her every day for the hard work she has done.
However, for such worthy celebrations like this.. it brings our family together in a way that absolutely drives me batty, but also makes me so thankful that I have each and every person in my life. I feel very grateful that I get along so well with each person in my family, both individually and collectively. The interesting thing about this is that we are all complete opposites of each other. We each have our own unique ways of expressing ourselves and interacting with this world that we have all created together.
Even though I get a long with everyone, not everyone gets a long with each other. Which is basically a given answer when you live in a blended family with 5 kids. I have four siblings, 3 beautiful sisters and an older very wise brother. I have one "blood" sister- the rest are "step".. if you want to categorize it. I don't like to look at my family as step and segregated (even though I feel like we have fallen into this "segregation"). I have grown up with these people, and ultimately each and everyone of them have some how shaped me into who I am today. I simply don't have enough words to go around saying how much each individual in my family means to me, whether we are close or not.
Like most families, my family and I have numerous areas and subjects where we strongly disagree with each other and feel or perceive things differently. Over the past 6 years, I have realized very quickly that it does not help me or them to spend any time or energy complaining or arguing about our differences, I usually choose to let it go, however not all of us are like that. After all, it is not my role or desire to convince anyone of anything or change anyone because...well, that is what makes us unique after all. Instead, I consciously choose to only focus on the ares and subjects where my family and I are compatible and harmonious with each other. I TRY to focus on the good and ignore all of the rest. But, (there is always a "but" isn't there?).. there comes a point where the judgement that is formed between parents and siblings... siblings and siblings.. however, where ever, whenever- can just be disgusting to me, especially when people can change. Understand that everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect, I truly believe that people can change. If you have someone who has many things going wrong, or went wrong and only have one thing go right, beat the drum of what's going right, and let that be your point of attraction. If you focus upon their problems, you achieve vibrational harmony with something other than the source that gives you a solution. I love everyone in my family, each person as their own individual.. and I can't even touch on the hurt that I feel when I know that not everyone in my family can love each other the way I love them. I'm not trying to change anyone, or cause a fight (which I know someone will read this and call someone and then someone is going to get mad..blah blah blah)..Not my intention. I'm just trying to show my opinion.
Another thing I have realized is that my time and energy are best spent on things that support me and make me feel good. Talking negatively about others in the family does not feel good. In my point of view, it is an "us vs. Them" mentality. If I am attacking another member of the family, I am, in truth, only attacking myself and subsequently, activating negative vibrations within me. I am guilty of this, we all are...
Despite these emotions I'm feeling and no matter how upset I get with one of them, or all of them... I love them unconditionally. What if you have a "grievance" against one, or all of the members in your family? Well, my drastic recommendation... Forgive them. Just because you forgive someone, it doesn't mean that you have to do lunch with them.
This blog isn't about creating a negative space between us, it's about showing my personal feelings on certain things. Even though I know half of my family won't read this because "blogging and internet stuff is stupid" (which I was told this weekend... haha oh well, yet another difference). Just in case, I love you all.