Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Yesterday I saw Happiness.
Yesterday after work, I decided to venture my way over to walmart to pick up some new workout dvds. In the process, I found myself running through the store in my high heals, tripping over my dress and becoming very impatient with the people around me. As I finally made it to the registers, of course there were only two lanes open for checkout, and probably 10 customers in each line. I stood there focused on how bad my feet hurt from wearing massive high heals for 8 hours at work and I swear I could feel the steam boiling out of my skin. I was standing in line, legs shaking and minding my own business when I felt a stampede roll up behind me. It was a family of 5, mom, dad, and 3 kids... who looked as dirty as the bottom of my feet probably did. The smell of cigarettes was so strong I almost had to hold my breath and as I browsed the kids, the two little girls had pink streaks in their hair and arms full of left over Easter candy. Just as I was about to form an opinion on these parents, one of the girls started to tug on my shoulder bag to grab my attention. She looked at me with these big beautiful blue eyes and instantly my heart grew warm, she then said to me "Your earrings are very beautiful, my mom said you look like an angel"-- I instantly felt tears in my eyes. Suddenly I forgot about my feet and how bad they hurt, I forgot about the line I was waiting in and I found myself sharing the warmth given to me with this family. It brought a new meaning of "happiness" to my attention-- to see how close this family is, and how happy they are... the love that was clearly shown between them. The little girl started to tell me about her imaginary heroic friend, while snapping her gum and brushing her messy pink hair out of her face. I found myself so focused and intrigued by her that a bomb could of went off in the store and I wouldn't of even known. Soon, it was my turn to check out, I was so taken by this family that it was hard for me not to go up and hug them, and thank them for just being there... standing next to me in the walmart line.
Walking out of the store, I pondered the thought of happiness and it reminded me of all the unfortunate things I had to go through recently. Over the weekend, I took the time to myself to think about how I was going to move on and find happiness. It always seems as if every time life is about to begin for me (real life)-- some kind of obstacle, something I have to get through, some kind of unfinished business, time to be served, debt to be paid off.... something happens. Then yesterday happened. Yesterday it dawned on me that these are all just obstacles in my life, that's all they are. There is no way to happiness, happiness IS the way. It is a journey and not a destination. Happiness IS the experience of living this life given to us, fully in these moments and exploring all of these moments and what they have to offer, good or bad. Maybe it had be that I met this family and realized this about myself, but I thank them for it.
"How you handle this moment .. and the next .. and the next ..will determine whether you will experience happiness today, tomorrow ..or never."